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Showing posts from 2011

RE: All I Want For Christmas

"Just did a quick reading of your dad's letter...rock on.  Do you know my goal in my life is to die before your dad so I can be on the Death List?" - Stella after reading my dad's annual Christmas Letter and the part where he lists all the deaths of friends and family from throughout the year

RE: Oldies, But Goodies

I stumbled upon some quotes I had on facebook and decided a trip down memory lane would be today's blog post. Please Enjoy! This first batch is from Miley Bieber: "Homeless people need to get it on, too." - I don't remember the context, but does it really matter?  "I feel like I need to pick-up his suck." - This was about a co-worker; most people would probably say, "slack" not "suck," but that makes it awesome  "I always wanted a stripper named Raul." - Again, don't remember the context  Of course, Stella had to be on here: "I need crabs. Can you send me crabs?" - Stella, actually taking about ingredients for a game on facebook  This next one is from a woman I worked on a political campaign with:  "The key to cabaret is to slither across the piano"  Chef Gordon Ramsey had some good ones from his TV shows:  "I feel like i need plastic wrap on my ass."  "It'

RE: Falaffles

An exchange a friend from high school experienced: CSR in Grocery Store: Hi, Miss! Are you finding everything okay? Me: Hi! Well, actually, I am looking for Andy's Frozen Falafel. Do you still carry it? CSR: I'm not sure. Let me ask the Frozen Foods Manager. Jim, do you still have Annie's Frozen Waffles? An exchange a friend from high school experienced

RE: Air Travel Can Be Very Risky

"Chick with no eyebrows freaking me out. 1 dirty hippy will be on my flight. Hope he doesn't sit next to me. Probably smells like patchouli and angst. And a dog that looks like a dead Betty White afro will be on my flight. I really think its dead..." And, a few hours later: "The guy sitting next to me spent 2.5 hours picking shit off his back and putting it on his tray table. Then he proceeded to dig in his nose for the rest of the time. Sooo skeeved out...I actually retched a bit. He kept elbowing my fat roll when he was picking his back." - Stella about her adventures in flying

RE: Eye Rogaine

"Now that's too much Latisse!" - The Hubby after seeing Lady Gaga in this video (not how she looks in the frozen image below):

RE: Seen But Not Heard

So, this isn't a quote post, but it is really something that I feel needs to be written about and shared.  I was in the restroom at a movie theater.  It was after some movies let out, so it was busy in there.  The first thing to happen was a loud ringtone going off and a woman a couple stalls down answers it and starts a conversation.  I will never understand this, especially when a whole bunch of toilets start flushing mid-conversation.  It's annoying but not gross, I know. Let me get to the second experience.  I leave my stall and walk toward the sinks.  I pass a lady coming out of another stall.  She is carrying a large bag popcorn and eating it.  She stops and continues to eat while another lady exits another stall, also eating from a large bag of popcorn.  The two of them proceed to the exit of the restroom, walking right by the sinks with post-bathroom-use-hands digging in the bags. Finally, phone lady comes out and is holding the phone and talking, with no move towar

RE: Those Aussies Know How To Suck It Up!

"I was watching Australian rules football the other night.  It's the closest thing to legal homicide.  One guy dislocated his shoulder, he was back in 2 plays.  Another guy's nose was on the side of his face and he was laughing!  Here?  Jesus Christ!  Travis Hafner farts funny and he's on the disabled list for 6 weeks!" - Mr. R being amazed at the dedication of the Aussies compared to American athletes

RE: Not Hearing That

It seems this week has been lacking in posts.  I've been a bit zoned out, so I haven't noticed any awesome quotes to post.  I am sure there were many, unfortunately, I didn't get them documented.  So, come on people, say some thing BRILLIANT! 

RE: Who's Da Man?

Me: Did you watch "Two And A Half Men?" I know how excited you were for Ashton Kutcher. Sally: Oh, best episode of my life! He was all, "Heyyyy..... I'm awesome.  Ahahah and I'm sexy. Watch me go over here and be a douche!" Me: So, not that much different than when Charlie Sheen was on? Sally: Not at all! I can hardly tell!!!  

RE: Dog Gone It

Scrubs: Wasting an entire weekend sick as a dog...I don't really know what that means.  I'm looking at my dog right now and he looks way happier and healthier than me. Me: But he also poops outside and sniffs crotches, so sick as a dog may have to do with the mental types of illnesses.

RE: I'm An Enabler, Not A Coach

Stella:"I need someone to push me...and I need someone who I have to be accountable to. Me: I'd offer but I don't think I am disciplined enough to hold anyone else accountable. Stella: Ha...yeah... Me: I wouldn't be able to say anything to guilt trip you because my mouth would be too full of ice cream. Stella: Ha...and I would be reading your "encouraging" text while eating a jr. bacon cheeseburger.

RE: Who's The Stiff?

" Too bad someone couldn't make Chuck Testa more lifelike." - The Hubby after seeing this: 

RE: Alive & Well In NYC!

Stella: So, watching "Big Sexy"...I seriously think the really tall one is a drag queen. Me: I KNOW, ME, TOO!!!! Stella: WTF is with her fucking make-up?!  Why is so WHITE?! Me, No idea Stella: I think she is actually John Candy from the movie "Armed & Dangerous. Me: HA Stella: It's nice to know that he didn't really die and is just living as a plus size model in NYC.

RE: Checking Out

"The only one I give a break to is the really old lady...She only has so many customers left to ring out." - Mr. R. commenting on the cashiers at a grocery/deep discount store.

RE: Can You Narrow It Down A Little?

"So I am at the West Side Market with [Holla] sitting outside & I am pretty sure the girl at the bus stop is from "The Real World" some time ago.  ANNOYING GIRL BUT FORGET NAME." - Pi texting me about someone who could be pretty much anyone from that show through the years