"I was watching Australian rules football the other night. It's the closest thing to legal homicide. One guy dislocated his shoulder, he was back in 2 plays. Another guy's nose was on the side of his face and he was laughing! Here? Jesus Christ! Travis Hafner farts funny and he's on the disabled list for 6 weeks!" - Mr. R being amazed at the dedication of the Aussies compared to American athletes
Former co-worker to 5 y/o daughter: [Daughter's name], maybe we should rethink this whole school thing. 5 y/o daughter: Listen, you're the one who got us into this mess.
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