Monday, November 17, 2014

RE: Get Out Of The Gene Pool

"It's like when I bar-tended and one of the regulars wanted to name her future baby "diarrhea" because the word, not what it stands for, is just beautiful." - Pi in response to RE: The Pee Of Tranquility

RE: Add It To The OED

"Snowveralls" - snow pants according to a friend's 1st grader

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

RE: The Pee of Tranquility

A Facebook status from a friend:

Today at work, an older lady was in the stall next to me and complimented me on the sound of my pee. She said it sounded "so tranquil" I've got that going for me. The crazies find me. Everywhere.

Monday, November 10, 2014

RE: Say It Isn't So

"I'm at a loss. I don't know what to think anymore. My mom doesn't like Grumpy Cat." - Stella

Sunday, November 2, 2014

RE: Scent Of A Real Woman

Me: Apparently Lisa Rinna is joining RHBH ("The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills").
Stella: Is there room for her lips?
Me: My thoughts! They freak me out.  But, Taylor hasn't been around, so I guess she's FILLING a gap.
Stella: She probably smells like plastic and shiny sticky lip gloss.
Me: And Harry Hamlin's spunk
Stella: Yes. That combo seems like a perfume Candie's would produce.

RE: Dumbdevil

Stella and Mr. R talking "About that dumbass crossing the tightrope in Chicago tonight:"

Stella: Dad, you gonna watch the guy tightrope between two buildings in Chicago?
Mr. R: Is he guaranteed to fall?

And, Mr. R continues on with:
1. Turn it on. [Throws the remote at Stella]
2. Jesus Christ! It's Joel Osteen! WHAT THE HELL?!
3. Jesus...there are actually people there watching this shit. I hope he falls on them all.
4. A real feat would be the Chicago Bears crossing the line.
5. Stupid ass waste of TV time. I could be watching another "Murder She Wrote" rerun.