I Better Write That Down

"It's like when I bar-tended and one of the regulars wanted to name her future baby "diarrhea" because the word, not what it stands for, is just beautiful." - Pi in response to  RE: The Pee Of Tranquility

"Snowveralls" - snow pants according to a friend's 1st grader

A Facebook status from a friend: Today at work, an older lady was in the stall next to me and complimented me on the sound of my pee. She said it sounded "so tranquil"...so I've got that going for me. The crazies find me. Everywhere.

"I'm at a loss. I don't know what to think anymore. My mom doesn't like Grumpy Cat." - Stella

Me: Apparently Lisa Rinna is joining RHBH ("The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"). Stella: Is there room for her lips? Me: My thoughts! They freak me out.  But, Taylor hasn't been around, so I guess she's FILLING a gap. Stella: She probably smells like plastic and shiny sticky lip gloss. Me: And Harry Hamlin's spunk Stella: Yes. That combo seems like a perfume Candie's would produce.

Stella and Mr. R talking "About that dumbass crossing the tightrope in Chicago tonight:" Stella: Dad, you gonna watch the guy tightrope between two buildings in Chicago? Mr. R: Is he guaranteed to fall? And, Mr. R continues on with: 1. Turn it on. [Throws the remote at Stella] 2. Jesus Christ! It's Joel Osteen! WHAT THE HELL?! 3. Jesus...there are actually people there watching this shit. I hope he falls on them all. 4. A real feat would be the Chicago Bears crossing the line. and... 5. Stupid ass waste of TV time. I could be watching another "Murder She Wrote" rerun.