Thursday, September 11, 2014

RE: She's Not Ready For Some Football

Stella: Pittsburgh vs Baltimore tonight on Thursday Night Football. Is mom wandering through the house losing her mind just muttering "bastards?"
Mr. R: Mom found the perfect solution. She's sleeping.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

RE: A Golden Opportunity

Stella's commentary on a visit to a urologist:
Having to see a urologist is like walking into "Golden Girls." I'm the youngest person here by about 50 years. Some of these people were old during Prohibition.
OMG! I just heard an old guy yell, "I CAN'T GET MY OLD PETER UP!" I am scarred for fucking life.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

RE: A Whole New Meaning To Donut Holes

Mr. R talking about "The assholes at the donut shop who get on their cell phones to ask people what kind of donuts they want"..."I want to say 'How about the dozen I'm gonna pound up your ass?'"

RE: Damn It Feels Bad To Be A Browns' Fan

Mr. R watching the season opener for the Browns.

:50 seconds left in the 1st quarter and Pitt scores:

"If they would have hung on for less than a minute more, they could have been tied at the end of the 1st quarter. Cleveland could have called this a successful season then. Too late now."


"This is shameful for Cleveland! SHAMEFUL!! Gimme some cookies."

RE: Humor...Somewhat Dark Humor

Here's a Facebook conversation between me and my cousins based on finding out Aviva Drescher was fired from "The Real Housewives of New York City."  At the end of the season, Aviva tossed her prosthetic leg across a table.  Cousin 1 posted the link on Cousin 2's Facebook page.  For background, Cousin 2 just had surgery for Crohn's Disease to get a colostomy bag.

Cousin 1 post:
Cousin 2 comment: Good, she was an idiot.
My comment: LOVE THIS! [Cousin 2], looks like they have an opening! ;)
Cousin 2 comment: She has her crazy leg and now I can have my bag!
My comment: NICE!
Cousin 1 comment: Just don't throw it at anyone...or do.
My comment: OMG! So, I was just thinking of Ramona's reaction to getting water splashed on her, imagine...

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

RE: Go Directly To Jail: Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200

"I'll probably be in jail before my court date." - Overheard by The Hubby and me at the table next to us at a restaurant