"My nephew was telling us about the women [sic] who flew an airplane around the world and her name was: 'A-Million Air Heart'!" - Facebook post from The Hubby's cousin
When you're trying to smuggle toys out of the house for donation, but they start playing their music in the trash bags. [toddler son] is on to me like the DEA on a drug raid. Relentless interrogation, relentless. - A friend's Facebook post
I often drive by a Burger King which says, "Flame grilling since 1954" on one side of the building. I always think, "I think it's done now. You can stop grilling it." I'm a dork. - Me
E-mail from my Mom [Wonder Woman] regarding her babysitting [Precious Gem] and her dad, my brother who was in the hospital: When I found out [brother] was coming home yesterday I told [Precious Gem]... She said, "Good, now maybe [Mini-Me] will stop crying all the time!" I said to her that she misses Daddy. Then I said, "Don't you miss Daddy?" Her answer,"Yes I do, but not as much as [Mini-Me]." She is so funny.
Thank you, Facebook, for the flashes of the past. Today's post are quotes from a co-worker back on December 6, 2010. Two quotes from Miley Bieber: Homeless people need to get it on, too. I feel like I need to pick-up his suck. The second is in reference to a co-worker who really was not good at his job.
Another Facebook post about the political savvy preschooler: "We asked [preschooler] the other day if she needed a tissue (as her finger was in her nose) and she responded, 'No, I love picking my nose!'"
A friend's Facebook post: I put down my phone which had a picture and article about Hillary on it and [her preschooler] says: "That looks like Donald Trump's mom."
While Neil Young's playing an acoustic version of "Rockin In The Free World". Precious Gem: I think I've heard this one before. My Brother: You've heard the electric one. Two minutes later... Precious Gem: I've heard this "virgin" before.
Friend's daughter found a wedding picture. Friend's daughter: Was that one of your bestest days? Friend: Yes, it was one of the best days when I married your daddy. Friend's daughter: Why do you like Daddy? He doesn't even have any hair!
Scrubs: [Precious Gem], do you want to go to Kalamazoo? Precious Gem: Yes. Are there going to be animals there? My Brother: It's for [Cinderella's] ice skating! Precious Gem: At the zoo?! My Brother: No, Kalamazoo, Michigan.
Me: Who was Parker Posey? The Hubby: The rough looking one. Me: OMG! I thought that was Elizabeth Banks. [awkward pause] Don't tell Elizabeth Banks. - After watching "Mascots"
"Just picked up [Mini-Me] from a sleepover. Now we are in line for flu shots. She's not happy. [Mini-Me] told me, 'You're bad at surprises!'" - My brother, Mini-Me's dad
Friend: [Daughter], you're being kinda a stink tonight. Be nice to your brother. Friend's 7 yr. old Daughter: Mom, that's not how stink works. Stink makes you smell bad. I think the word you're looking for is "naughty".
Message from Stella: At Target and we see the Count Chocula cereal box that says "Vote for Me" or whatever. Birdman: Who is he running against? Stella: Boo Berry and Frankenberry. Yummy Mummy probably isn't running. Birdman: Frankenberry is in it until the Access Hollywood tapes come out. Stella: Yeah. Those will be gross. Birdman: *rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr* Grab pussy *rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*
Typically, the posts on this blog are inane or silly or beyond explanation, but today, I am sharing a link to a post written by The Hubby. It's important enough to be written down.
"Joe Thomas. That piece of shit. What a piece of shit. Joe Thomas is a piece of shit! I will PUKE if he makes the Pro-Bowl again this year. I. WILL. PUKE!!" - Mr. R upon watching the Cleveland Browns
Precious Gem had her first day of Pre-K today. She was telling of a little girl who cried because she missed her mommy. When she finished telling about that, she said, "I don't think I missed anybody."
Mr. R: [Some suburb] has a new chain Mexican restaurant going in. I can't remember the name. [Google it] Stella: All I see is Panda Express. Mr. R: That's it! Stella: That's Chinese. Mr. R: Whatever. Stella: What about a panda bear on the logo made you think it was Mexican food? Mr. R: The logo was round.
Woman: I thought they always had Teddy Roosevelt wearing glasses. Man: How would they put the glass on there? Woman: I don't know, I just thought they had them up there. -Overheard at Mount Rushmore
Friend's Preschooler: Mommy, how long did it take for the hospital to get the baby out? Friend: What baby, Baby K? Preschooler: Yeah, Baby K. Friend: A few hours. Preschooler: I can respect that.
My brother was watching the Republican Presidential Debate with my 4-year-old niece: Precious Gem: Who's that guy? My Brother: Ben Carson. Precious Gem: His head looks like a hedgehog.