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Showing posts from 2018

RE: Our Fur Not-So-Much-A-Baby Anymore

The Hubby: Can you hurry? It's cold out here! The Doggie: I don't feel cold. The Hubby: You're covered in fur! The Doggie: Well, maybe you should have worn something warmer than shorts and flip flops... The Hubby: My pants and shoes were all the way upstairs! The Doggie: How am I the one on the leash?

RE: A Smell's Worth 1,000 Words

The Hubby had another great walk with The Doggie. As The Doggie and I were walking this morning, he stopped to sniff at a sign post, as he often does. This particular sniff was more thorough than most, and seemed to go on forever. Bored, and anxious about getting to work on time, I said, "Come on, that's enough." "You can't rush this," The Doggie said sagely. "Each scent tells a tale." "Yeah, 'Once upon a time, some dog peed here. The end.'" I gave his leash a petulant little tug. The Doggie looked at me with the infinite patience of a dog. I looked away. "Not just 'some dog,'" he said, as he closed his eyes and resumed sniffing the pole. "This dog is old... male. A Labrador, I think, or at least a lab mix. He was given to a child when he was a puppy. The boy loved him, but he forgot to feed him and clean up after him. His parents grew frustrated, and when the dog chewed up some shoes, they took him to th

RE: The Farm Is Buying The Farm

Conversing with the step-daughter.

RE: Sighing 'Bout The Rain, What A Terrible Feeling

Found this oldie the other day: The Doggie: Gosh, mom, why'd we have to come inside? Me: Because it's cold and pouring rain. We were out long enough. The Doggie: But [Neighbor] and his dad were still out there. Me: [Neighbor] and his dad are human adults. They can make that decision for themselves. The Doggie: But you're a human adult. Me: Yes, so I make the decisions for both of us. The Doggie: I wish I was a human adult. Wait until Dad gets home. Me: Ha! He's more strict than me. You'll be lucky to even get out the door. The Doggie: [angst ridden sigh]

RE: Shit & Sarcasm --- Sarcasm & Shit

The Hubby: Why the hell do you do that? Why do you poop a little bit, then take two steps and poop some more? The Doggie: What, I thought you liked when I did that? The Hubby: WHAT? Why would I like that? The Doggie: I have no earthly idea. But that's what you said. The other day, I was taking care of business, and you said, "Oh, great, just spread it around! I just LOVE a little poop scavenger hunt! The Hubby: That was sarcasm! The Doggie: What's "sarcasm"? The Hubby: It's when you say the opposite of what you mean, so that the other person knows you're annoyed, or you think they're dumb. The Doggie: Wait. You say the opposite of what you actually mean, and people are supposed to know what you're talking about? The Hubby: Well... yeah. The Doggie: Ah. That's a GREAT way to communicate... The Hubby: Okay... The Doggie: Humans are SOOO smart! The Hubby: I get it! The Doggie: That's not stupid AT ALL! Am I doing this right?