Friday, December 23, 2011

RE: Big Sisterhood Stinks

"I don't want to hold [Precious Gem] anymore, she smells bad, you need to change her or something!!!!" - Mini-Me to Scrubs

RE: Men's Cologne

"Deli Select...For the ladies" - Sally describing the guy next to her on her flight who smelled like a sandwich

RE: Hell Of A Growth Spurt

"[Precious Gem] is 6' 4" already." - E-mail from Wonder Woman to tell me my almost-3-week-old niece's WEIGHT

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

RE: All I Want For Christmas

"Just did a quick reading of your dad's letter...rock on.  Do you know my goal in my life is to die before your dad so I can be on the Death List?" - Stella after reading my dad's annual Christmas Letter and the part where he lists all the deaths of friends and family from throughout the year

Sunday, December 18, 2011

RE: Say It Isn't So!

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but apparently Cameron Diaz is at war with J-Lo." - Text from The Hubby while he was at the grocery store

Saturday, December 17, 2011

RE: Oldies, But Goodies

I stumbled upon some quotes I had on facebook and decided a trip down memory lane would be today's blog post. Please Enjoy!

This first batch is from Miley Bieber:

  • "Homeless people need to get it on, too." - I don't remember the context, but does it really matter? 
  • "I feel like I need to pick-up his suck." - This was about a co-worker; most people would probably say, "slack" not "suck," but that makes it awesome 
  • "I always wanted a stripper named Raul." - Again, don't remember the context 

Of course, Stella had to be on here:
  • "I need crabs. Can you send me crabs?" - Stella, actually taking about ingredients for a game on facebook 

This next one is from a woman I worked on a political campaign with: 
  • "The key to cabaret is to slither across the piano" 

Chef Gordon Ramsey had some good ones from his TV shows: 
  • "I feel like i need plastic wrap on my ass." 
  • "It's like King Kong's fucking condom!" 

The last one, for now, is really a favorite of mine: 
  • 'Family Feud' host: "Something people know about dragons?" 
        'Family feud' contestant: "They're extinct."

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

RE: Is There Any Other Way?

"You know she likes her leather pants to be tight." - Overheard by Stella at Kohl's

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

RE: Do You Hear What I Hear?

While decorating their tree:

Birdman: I thought this was a chick singing this song.
Stella: It's Michael Jackson, isn't it?
Birdman: It's Hanson!!!

Monday, December 12, 2011

RE: Wonder What That Smells Like?

"WHERE IS MY WONDER WOMAN SHIT?" - E-mail from Wonder Woman after seeing what I had gotten some of my nieces for gifts

Thursday, December 8, 2011

RE: O, Christmas Tree

"I downloaded that and realized halfway through 'they're not talking about a Christmas tree at all!!!'" - My former boss talking about Lady Gaga's song, "Christmas Tree"

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

RE: Not Quite Right

"It's the top that the Chanukahnians gamble with." - Our friend's 12 year old son explaining a dreidel to his little sister 

Friday, December 2, 2011

RE: Confucius Run Out Of Things To Say

Q. What do you call a sheep with no legs? A. A cloud. - From the fortune in my fortune cookie

RE: Falaffles

An exchange a friend from high school experienced:

CSR in Grocery Store: Hi, Miss! Are you finding everything okay?
Me: Hi! Well, actually, I am looking for Andy's Frozen Falafel. Do you still carry it?
CSR: I'm not sure. Let me ask the Frozen Foods Manager. Jim, do you still have Annie's Frozen Waffles? An exchange a friend from high school experienced