Sunday, August 24, 2014

RE: The Cleveland Assholes

"Look at this! You put a Cleveland jersey on someone and they become an instant asshole." - Mr. R, of course

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

RE: Lying And Tigers And Bears

"[Toddler daughter] got in trouble for lying this morning. After 15 minutes of silent reflection, she says 'Mom, I not lying...I not a zebra, I not a monkey, I not a Rollie pollie...' Poor girl thought she was in trouble for being a "lion." Apparently we need to revisit this lesson later!" - A friend's Facebook status

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

RE: He's Back!

Stella forced a "My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding" on Mr. R.  His reactions did not disappoint.

Mr. R: THEY HAVE BLACK GYPSIES?!?!
Stella: That's the priest.
Mr. R: Oh.

"Love the hats." - Mr. R, sounding just like Hannibal Lector, "Love the suit," according to Stella

"Is that a flying Jesus? I just saw a FLYING JESUS!" - Mr. R

"Do gypsies own anything in just one solid color? It's all patterned shit." - Mr. R

Stella: My dad wants a "My Wild Gypsy Nuns" show.

Stella: My dad said her IQ doesn't reach double digits.

RE: Is She Really Only Starting Kindergarten?

Former co-worker to 5 y/o daughter: [Daughter's name], maybe we should rethink this whole school thing.
5 y/o daughter: Listen, you're the one who got us into this mess.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

RE: Mr. Landline-Telephone Man

"Watching "The View" and New Edition is on, however, I think the name should probably be changed to Old News." - My Facebook status update the other day

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

RE: Touched For The 31st Time

"This song makes me nostalgic for when Madonna was just a whore." - The Hubby when "Cherish" was playing on an overhead in a restaurant

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

RE: Better Get Out The Map

Real Housewife of Melbourne: Where is your accent from?
Chef: South Africa.
Real Housewife of Melbourne: Ah Zimbabwe?
Chef: No, South Africa.
Real Housewife of Melbourne: Well, it's still around the same continents you know?

Monday, August 4, 2014

RE: Let's Get Real, Housewives

"Mousse is fancy pudding!" - Me yelling at the T.V. while watching "The Real Housewives of the OC" not understanding that the waiter said, "Shrimp Mousse," not "Shrimp Moose."