I Better Write That Down

Stella: Save us Jebus, Snooki is pregnant. Birdman: KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!

"They're like the female Laurel & Hardy." - The Hubby when watching Rose Byrne & Melissa McCarthy present an award on the Oscars

" When are they going to get around to colorizing ' The Artist' ?" - The Hubby

"Making Glenn Close look like a man isn't all that much of an achievement." - The Hubby about make-up artist nominees for Glenn Close in "Albert Nobbs"

"That fabric looks like it's made of caul fat." - The Hubby upon seeing Rooney Mara's dress for the Oscars

Me: WTF? The necklace on the grandma! Stella: I know...think I'll slice a fucking rock up and wear it. - Texts between Stella and me about a woman wearing a geode necklace on the red carpet at the Oscars

"Walking around with a man's hand up our asses most of the time." - The Hubby speaking as Ryan Seacrest after hearing Seacrest talk about having things in common with Kermit the Frog

"He has no sideburns.  I don't trust a man with no sideburns." - Birdman about a politician

"Girl, Milan just danced circles around you and swiffered the floor with his taint." - Willam commenting on the Lip-Sync-For-Your-Life competition on "RuPaul's Drag Race"

"Irony is so ironic." - Phaedra Parks on "The Real Housewives of Atlanta"

Text exchange with Stella: Stella: It never fails...I bleach & clean the toilet and then have a massive explosive shit...WTF? Me: I hear ya. Stella: Seriously...it is like my butt hole is one of those wacky sprinklers! Me: Ha!" Stella: I may be pooping out corn I ate 4 years ago.... Me: I think corn just multiplies in there.

"Did you see where the Animal Detective League is mad for companies using animals in their commercials?" - Mr. R

Cinderella: "The Super Bowl sounds exciting but it sure isn't exciting!"

"I bet it smells like prostitutes." - Miley Bieber upon finding out Snooki has her own perfume