Sunday, October 30, 2011

Saturday, October 29, 2011

RE: So, That's Not Sand?

Thecla to a little boy: Were you at the beach today?
The little boy's mom: He has psoriasis.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

RE: Surprisingly, NOT Paula Abdul

Discussing the other female judge on "The X-Factor:"

Me: What is with the judge chick dressing like Pocahontas?
Stella: She seems as if she has two brain cells...and they hate each other.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

RE: It's The Answer Blowing

"This wind is so breezy!" - Miley Bieber as we walked to the parking lot

Friday, October 7, 2011

RE: The Belt: Protector Of Ass Crack

"This pizza is like CRACK!  BUT[t] you shouldn't eat too much of it.  Oh, is that the FireCRACKER one?" - The Hubby's subtle way of drawing attention to the guy in front of us having a plumber's crack

RE: Why Is Pizza Sauce Red?

"I don't eat tomatoes...I hate tomatoes...Tomatoes should be outlawed." - A guy at the pizza buffet we went to for lunch

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

RE: You Probably Should Count Me Out

After receiving a random FB event invitation:

Me: Yeah, unfortunately, I am unable to attend.
Stella:, too. I have diarrhea that day.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

RE: Those Aussies Know How To Suck It Up!

"I was watching Australian rules football the other night.  It's the closest thing to legal homicide.  One guy dislocated his shoulder, he was back in 2 plays.  Another guy's nose was on the side of his face and he was laughing!  Here?  Jesus Christ!  Travis Hafner farts funny and he's on the disabled list for 6 weeks!" - Mr. R being amazed at the dedication of the Aussies compared to American athletes

RE: New MPAA Rating?

"The movie was awesome even though it was rated PU." - Holla talking about "Dolphin Tale" and her horribly gassy state when seeing it

RE: You Can Say That Again

"If you Farkle, you're fuckled." - The Hubby to his mom while playing Farkle

Saturday, October 1, 2011

RE: Tomato, Tomahto

"There's the Catholics, the Lutheran, and the Angel-can." - Guy waiting for a table at a restaurant