Thursday, January 19, 2017

RE: They're All The Same

Here's a memory from about 14 years ago.

Wonder Woman provided daycare for grandkids and a couple other non-related kids. One morning she was driving Holla to pre-school. It happened to be show-and-tell day. Holla was bringing a souvenir I gave her from one of my trips. Wonder Woman was trying to help Holla say, "El Salvador" in order to be ready for her show-and-tell. After much effort and some frustration, Holla informed Wonder Woman that she would "just say China".

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

RE: Family Ties

Email from my mom: 

A conversation [Precious Gem] and I had today.

Precious Gem:  So Grandma, is my Dad my real Dad or my Step-Dad?

Me: He's your real Dad.

Precious Gem:  So who's my Step-Dad?

Me: You don't have a Step-Dad.

Precious Gem: Why not?

Then I attempted to explain what it means to have a Step-Dad the best I could so she could understand.

After all this she says, "Well [friend] has a real Dad and a Step-Dad."
I then tried to explain why she does.  She is too much!

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

RE: Potty Stop

From my Facebook memories feed for today:

"...this may very well be the best part of any email her dad has EVER sent her, 'Your [Wonder Woman] is now laughing so hard she is peeing her pants once I showed her her various mispellings{sic}*, etc. She is now in the bathroom.'"

*Looks like he had one of his own.

Sunday, January 8, 2017

RE: Father Knows Worst

Friend's Facebook post:

"Me: Why don't you take everything I say seriously?

8yo: Because it's usually stupid or dangerous.

#truestory #valid"

Saturday, January 7, 2017

RE: Well, DUH, Mom!

Precious Gem is in pre-K and the class is working on phone #, home address, city and state. Scrubs was working with her and asked her where she lived. Her answer, "In my home".

Thursday, January 5, 2017

RE: Anywhere & Everywhere

"Food poisoning: It comes out of nowhere. Then it comes out of everywhere." - The Hubby's Facebook post upon my suffering from food poisoning

RE: Pet Petting

The Hubby (while giving extended belly rubs): I love you, Buddy!
The Doggie: What is "love"?
The Hubby: Hmm... It's caring about someone a whole lot. It's being really happy that someone is in your life.
The Doggie: Oh. Like how I feel about Ball.
The Hubby: Well, yeah, I guess. And I'm sure you love, uh, me...
The Doggie: Hmm...
The Hubby: I mean, you lick me a lot. I thought...
The Doggie: I lick you because your sweat tastes like ham.
The Hubby: ...Oh.
The Doggie: But I love ham. If that helps.
The Hubby: I'll take it.

As I scratch at [The Doggie's] side, he rolls onto his back, exposing his belly in an obvious invitation to rub it.

The Hubby: You're a belly slut. You give it up for nothin'!
The Doggie: Have you ever had your belly rubbed?
The Hubby: Well, uh... no.
The Doggie: That's what I thought. Don't talk about things you don't understand, virgin.