The Doggie, hearing literally any noise outside: Oh my god, there's someone out there! Battle stations! They're trying to get us! Why aren't you freaking out, this is serious! I'll try to scare them off by growling and barking!
The Doggie, when literally anyone comes into the house: Oh my god, company! Hi, hi there! Come in! Hello, hi! I'm so happy to see you, hello! Here, have a stuffed animal!
Former co-worker to 5 y/o daughter: [Daughter's name], maybe we should rethink this whole school thing. 5 y/o daughter: Listen, you're the one who got us into this mess.
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