Saturday, December 19, 2015

RE: Two 40-year-olds One Debate

Me: So, the Dem Debate had a commercial and came back with Hillary missing....I think she was stuck in the bathroom taking a shit. At least, that's what I choose to think.
Stella: Ha! That would happen to me! Then I would return with the "poop sweats" showing.
Me: I'd have tucked something in my pants and/or have toilet paper stuck to me.
Stella: My strategy would be to not wipe well so I stink and throw everyone else off their game.
Me: HA!
Stella: I hate that the Democratic debates are on Saturday nights. I forget they are on. Is Hilary wearing a carpet?
Me: I only realized because of Facebook and Twitter. "Patton Oswalt ‏@pattonoswalt 2 hours ago Hillary looking fetching in her Ann Taylor Loft "Shaved Chewbacca" sweater frock! #DemDebate".
Stella: Yes! My first thought was Berber carpet from Home Depot.
Me: I thought burlap sack
Stella: Burlap Sac Chic. OMG! Check out @pattonoswalt's Tweet: "We must use Keith Richards to absorb all of the heroin in the country and then piss it into the sun." #DemDebate
Me: Yeah
Stella: I want Birdman to start illustrating some of his tweets.
Me: YES!!!!
Stella: O'Malley has Legolas ears.
Me: HA!
Stella: Sanders is a Pole?! Now I gotta vote for him.
Me: I gotta vote for him based on the way he talks.
Stella: Hell yeah.
Me: Imagine the State of the Union addresses!
Stella: It would have to include a giant bowl of matzoh ball soup.
Me: And a toast with Manischewitz
Stella: Do you think his breath reeks of Polident?
Me: I'm thinking a generic/lesser brand.
Stella: I think Lady Gaga smells like Vagisil.
Me: HA! I seriously just laughed out loud with the bowl-full-of-jelly action.
Stella: Awesome!!!!!!

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