RE: Pet Petting

The Hubby (while giving extended belly rubs): I love you, Buddy!
The Doggie: What is "love"?
The Hubby: Hmm... It's caring about someone a whole lot. It's being really happy that someone is in your life.
The Doggie: Oh. Like how I feel about Ball.
The Hubby: Well, yeah, I guess. And I'm sure you love, uh, me...
The Doggie: Hmm...
The Hubby: I mean, you lick me a lot. I thought...
The Doggie: I lick you because your sweat tastes like ham.
The Hubby: ...Oh.
The Doggie: But I love ham. If that helps.
The Hubby: I'll take it.

As I scratch at [The Doggie's] side, he rolls onto his back, exposing his belly in an obvious invitation to rub it.

The Hubby: You're a belly slut. You give it up for nothin'!
The Doggie: Have you ever had your belly rubbed?
The Hubby: Well, uh... no.
The Doggie: That's what I thought. Don't talk about things you don't understand, virgin.