RE: Walking The Dog

Doggie and The Hubby on a walk...

Doggie: Hang on, I'm going to poop.
The Hubby: Okay.
Doggie: Okay, this is a good spot. Let me just...
The Hubby: Hang on, don't do it there. Come over here a ways.
Doggie: Oh, I shouldn't poop?
The Hubby: Yes, go ahead, I just didn't want you to do it over there, right next to those people's window. Just do it over here.
Doggie: I see, no pooping then.
The Hubby: What? No, you can poop, just not over there. Go ahead.
Doggie: I understand. I won't poop then.
The Hubby: Why are you being like this? I think you're being passive-aggressive.
Doggie: I don't know what that is. It sounds like a human thing.
The Hubby: Are you going to poop or what?
Doggie: No need.
The Hubby: -sigh- Fine.

Twenty minutes later, at home...

Doggie: Take me out, I need to poop.

***

Another walk with Doggie...

Doggie: GRRRRR
The Hubby: What's the matter?
Doggie: I hate those guys so much!
The Hubby: Who? You mean those two dogs, that are like a block away? The ones you've never actually interacted with? You hate them?
Doggie: SO MUCH!
The Hubby: Why? What did they--
Doggie: HEY ASSHOLES! YEAH, YOU! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NEVER TO COME AROUND HERE!
The Hubby: Doggie, they live three doors down from us.
Doggie: DON'T ACT LIKE YOU CAN'T HEAR ME! IF I GET A HOLD OF YOU, I'M GOING TO RIP OFF YOUR HEADS AND SHOVE THEM UP EACH OTHER'S BUTTS!
The Hubby: They're both bigger than you; I'm pretty sure they'd beat the crap out of you!
Doggie: DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? DO YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM?!?!
The Hubby: Jesus, Doggie, chill out! Where did that come from? Look, they're gone now, you can relax.
Doggie: ~whine~
The Hubby: Now what's wrong?
Doggie: I miss those guys...