I Better Write That Down

Gleek performs Slam poetry and has a piece entitled "Prima Donna"  Someone thought it was called "Pre Madonna."

What Stella heard her mom say: I do enjoy snatch. What Stella's mom said: I do enjoy "Smash."

Textersation with Stella: Stella: I'm on a bus between Chicago & [hometown]...and everyone on it sucks 16 assholes...gonna shank them all. Me: Nice Stella: No...it's not...it sucks. Later Stella: It's so fucking hot on this bus.  I'm dead aren't I?  I'm in some level of hell. Me: Noo, you can't be.  I need you! Stella: Guy chewing with his mouth open and now sucking on his fingers and kissing on his chick.  I'm on the verge of weeping.  HOLY FUCK...the chick just coughed against the window and her cough wind blew in my face.

"I'd like to thank Dick Clark for finally dying so my New Year's Eves no longer have to be uncomfortable." - Stella

As Stella was traveling to Chicago, I received some texts: "Riding on Amtrak to Chicago and some guy just ran up the aisle yelling, "PANCAKES!  SAUSAGE!  SCRAMBLED EGGS!" "Finally doze off and a heard of Mennonites get on the train and don't SHUT THE FUCK UP, MOTHER FUCKERS!  Also...they are sitting right behind me." "Ok, I thought this lady sitting by me was retarded...she's not...she has a daughter and is just really socially awkward."

"It's like he has rich asperger's." - The Hubby on Mitt Romney's inability to think before speaking when trying to relate to Joe Average American

"Oh, how funny! Yesterday I was telling Cinderella about how funny the english language is and she  has homophobes for homework!" - Wonder Woman

"I am going to make a show about goth kids who sing and dance.  I'm going to call it "Glum."" -The Hubby

"Grandma, did you know that my daddy sings in the bathroom?  I love him anyway." and, later, still talking about daddy: "Sometimes he is obnoxious." - Mini-Me

Me: All I can think of while watching Carnie Wilson singing mama and the papa's songs just makes me think of mama cass....Wow, that was a fucked up sentence. Stella: And that makes me think of the Scooby Doo episode with Mama Cass in the candy factory...which then makes me think of the Neapolitan ghosts...which the makes me think of grapefruit with whipped cream and a cherry because that is what Mama Cass/Carnie Wilson eats at the end of the episode...which then makes me think of the ham sandwich she apparently choked on.  Follow that fucked up train of thought.

Stella: How many calories does one burn when they are pooping? Birdman: This site says you burn 70 calories per hour while pooping.  Who poops for an hour?!  My legs start to fall asleep after 10 minutes.  Don't yours? Stella: No.  Maybe cause you are taller.

"This is the worst Indians team I have seen in my ENTIRE life.  They can't pitch, they can't hit and they get injured wiping their asses." - Mr. R

"STOP TOUCHING ME!!!" - Overheard coming from a restaurant kitchen

"After I eat a lot, I just want to poop and sleep." - Sally, at breakfast