I Better Write That Down

"I don't want to hold [Precious Gem] anymore, she smells bad, you need to change her or something!!!!" - Mini-Me to Scrubs

"Deli Select...For the ladies" - Sally describing the guy next to her on her flight who smelled like a sandwich

"[Precious Gem] is 6' 4" already." - E-mail from Wonder Woman to tell me my almost-3-week-old niece's WEIGHT

"Just did a quick reading of your dad's letter...rock on.  Do you know my goal in my life is to die before your dad so I can be on the Death List?" - Stella after reading my dad's annual Christmas Letter and the part where he lists all the deaths of friends and family from throughout the year

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but apparently Cameron Diaz is at war with J-Lo." - Text from The Hubby while he was at the grocery store

I stumbled upon some quotes I had on facebook and decided a trip down memory lane would be today's blog post. Please Enjoy! This first batch is from Miley Bieber: "Homeless people need to get it on, too." - I don't remember the context, but does it really matter?  "I feel like I need to pick-up his suck." - This was about a co-worker; most people would probably say, "slack" not "suck," but that makes it awesome  "I always wanted a stripper named Raul." - Again, don't remember the context  Of course, Stella had to be on here: "I need crabs. Can you send me crabs?" - Stella, actually taking about ingredients for a game on facebook  This next one is from a woman I worked on a political campaign with:  "The key to cabaret is to slither across the piano"  Chef Gordon Ramsey had some good ones from his TV shows:  "I feel like i need plastic wrap on my ass."  "It'...

"You know she likes her leather pants to be tight." - Overheard by Stella at Kohl's

While decorating their tree: Birdman: I thought this was a chick singing this song. Stella: It's Michael Jackson, isn't it? Birdman: It's Hanson!!!

"WHERE IS MY WONDER WOMAN SHIT?" - E-mail from Wonder Woman after seeing what I had gotten some of my nieces for gifts

"I downloaded that and realized halfway through 'they're not talking about a Christmas tree at all!!!'" - My former boss talking about Lady Gaga's song, "Christmas Tree"

"It's the top that the Chanukahnians gamble with." - Our friend's 12 year old son explaining a dreidel to his little sister 

Q . What do you call a sheep with no legs? A . A cloud. - From the fortune in my fortune cookie

An exchange a friend from high school experienced: CSR in Grocery Store: Hi, Miss! Are you finding everything okay? Me: Hi! Well, actually, I am looking for Andy's Frozen Falafel. Do you still carry it? CSR: I'm not sure. Let me ask the Frozen Foods Manager. Jim, do you still have Annie's Frozen Waffles? An exchange a friend from high school experienced