I Better Write That Down

"Never, ever shank a baby!" - Guy doing a scene in my improv class

Wonder Woman and my dad were at my brother's house on Mother's Day.  When they were leaving Precious Gem ran to say goodbye and give kisses. To Wonder Woman she says, "Happy Mother's Day." Then goes to my dad and says, "Happy uh...Sunday."

Scrubs tells Precious Gem to pull up her pants before pulling up her skort. Precious Gem says,"They're not pants; they're pierogis." She meant capris. I think they were capri length leggings.

Friend's son: I need a ton of hugs. Friend: That's okay. I ordered three tons so I have a ton to share. Friend's son: But hugs are free! I know you didn't have to pay for them. Friend: There are probably people out there who charge for hugs. Friend's son: Hugstitutes.

Mini-Me wrote this about her mom, Scrubs:

On Mini-Me's 8th birthday, I got a text from Scrubs. It was a picture of Mini-Me holding a jar of gravy and a jar of applesauce from my parents...that she asked them to get.  I emailed my parents to see what that was all about.  Wonder Woman's response: Here's the scoop.   A few weeks ago I asked Miss [Mini-Me] what she wanted for her b-day.  She said, emphatically, "No clothes!"  So I said, "Then what do you want?"   I thought she said a great big can of ravioli.  So days later, I said, "What do you want besides ravioli?"  She said, "I don't want ravioli; I said gravy."  I said, "Anything else?"  She thought a minute and said, "A big jar of applesauce all for myself."  I gave her the gravy and applesauce on Monday when the family got together.  I figured her friends might not get it or think her Grandmother was NUTS.  Sunday she had a kids' party at the rink.  So that's it.

"Ethel Merman & Paul Lynde had a love child bursting forth from Kasha's vocal chords" Ginger Minj talking about the singing of another queen on "RuPaul's Drag Race"