"[Toddler daughter] got in trouble for lying this morning. After 15 minutes of silent reflection, she says 'Mom, I not lying...I not a zebra, I not a monkey, I not a Rollie pollie...' Poor girl thought she was in trouble for being a "lion." Apparently we need to revisit this lesson later!" - A friend's Facebook status
Stella forced a "My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding" on Mr. R. His reactions did not disappoint. Mr. R: THEY HAVE BLACK GYPSIES?!?! Stella: That's the priest. Mr. R: Oh. "Love the hats." - Mr. R, sounding just like Hannibal Lector, "Love the suit," according to Stella "Is that a flying Jesus? I just saw a FLYING JESUS!" - Mr. R "Do gypsies own anything in just one solid color? It's all patterned shit." - Mr. R Stella: My dad wants a "My Wild Gypsy Nuns" show. Stella: My dad said her IQ doesn't reach double digits.
Former co-worker to 5 y/o daughter: [Daughter's name], maybe we should rethink this whole school thing. 5 y/o daughter: Listen, you're the one who got us into this mess.
"Watching "The View" and New Edition is on, however, I think the name should probably be changed to Old News." - My Facebook status update the other day
Real Housewife of Melbourne: Where is your accent from? Chef: South Africa. Real Housewife of Melbourne: Ah Zimbabwe? Chef: No, South Africa. Real Housewife of Melbourne: Well, it's still around the same continents you know?
"Mousse is fancy pudding!" - Me yelling at the T.V. while watching "The Real Housewives of the OC" not understanding that the waiter said, "Shrimp Mousse," not "Shrimp Moose."