I Better Write That Down

"Z for zipper.  Zip your mouth right up." -Mini-Me doing alphabet flashcards.

"If Lebron ever comes back to play here, I will piss...I will piss on EVERYTHING!  Piece of pig shit." - Mr. R

"Can you turn this song off?  It's scary!" - Mini-Me upon hearing Leonard Cohen's "Darkness"

What I said: Jar Jar Martin What I meant to say: George R R Martin *A quote from Jar Jar Binks in "Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace

"It makes me happy when mommy cries." - Little girl on "Toddlers & Tiaras"

"Stepping out of the Forever Lazy is what I imagine it feels like for a baby emerging from the womb...cold, cruel world." - Text from Stella

"I bet she has a 4 inch clitoris." The Hubby upon seeing one of the chicks from "Mob Wives," who seems like she may have been a man at some point

"I'm going to turn into a Chinese." - Miley Bieber talking about all the Chinese food she's been eating

Scrubs: Thank you, [Mini-Me], for finding my snow brush. Mini-Me: You're welcome. I'm pretty helpful...and squeezable...

"He looks like a grasshopper." - Mr. R upon seeing Steven Tyler on a commercial for "American Idol"

"I wouldn't call myself an addict because why would I?" - Richard, a regular user of meth, on "Intervention"

"That's okay [Precious Gem], accidents happen." - Mini-Me to her one month old baby sister when the baby pooped

"Oh, there it is behind the Chinese takeover." - Gleek trying to find something in the fridge

"It sounds like a walrus having diarrhea." - Holla describing how her brother sounded when he was demonstrating some background music for us

"I teach fucking PSR [Parish School Reglion]!" - Thecla, on a rant about scheduling conflicts

"Pin the door on the donkey." - Mini-Me talking about I have no idea what

"Come see the owls." - Wonder Woman telling Mini-Me to look at the PENGUIN puzzle