I Better Write That Down

"If it doesn't work out, I don't have no other choice than to die." - Woman on "Kitchen Nightmares" revealing what will happen if Gordon Ramsey can't get her restaurant back up and running

"I love hippo" - My text to The Hubby that should have read, "I love you," but swype interpreted incorrectly

"50 PC NUGETTS" - Sign Stella saw at a McDonald's

It seems this week has been lacking in posts.  I've been a bit zoned out, so I haven't noticed any awesome quotes to post.  I am sure there were many, unfortunately, I didn't get them documented.  So, come on people, say some thing BRILLIANT! 

"Oh no, Regis is not on "Regis and Kelly" today! I love him! He is sooooo funny!" -Mini-me in front of the TV this morning

Me: Did you watch "Two And A Half Men?" I know how excited you were for Ashton Kutcher. Sally: Oh, best episode of my life! He was all, "Heyyyy..... I'm awesome.  Ahahah and I'm sexy. Watch me go over here and be a douche!" Me: So, not that much different than when Charlie Sheen was on? Sally: Not at all! I can hardly tell!!!  

"She's a pearson." - The Hubby describing a woman with an unfortunate figure

Scrubs: Wasting an entire weekend sick as a dog...I don't really know what that means.  I'm looking at my dog right now and he looks way happier and healthier than me. Me: But he also poops outside and sniffs crotches, so sick as a dog may have to do with the mental types of illnesses.

Stella:"I need someone to push me...and I need someone who I have to be accountable to. Me: I'd offer but I don't think I am disciplined enough to hold anyone else accountable. Stella: Ha...yeah... Me: I wouldn't be able to say anything to guilt trip you because my mouth would be too full of ice cream. Stella: Ha...and I would be reading your "encouraging" text while eating a jr. bacon cheeseburger.

"Uncle...Uncle...Uncle Colorado likes Spider Man." - Mini-Me forgetting The Hubby's name, when trying to tell Wonder Woman about his Spidey fandom

" Too bad someone couldn't make Chuck Testa more lifelike." - The Hubby after seeing this: 

" Terence Trent D'Arby, I bet you still wish you had a wishing well...but for your career." - something I posted on a social networking site which seemed to entertain folks

"You want me to sit down and have a serious talk with your uterus?" - Stella during a discussion about my desire to get pregnant

"Is it considered sexual assault if a midget walks up to you and says your hair smells nice?" - A former co-worker, just being himself

"When River Phoenix died, they honored him by going to see his dead body." - The Hubby, about the "Stand By Me" cast

" I got drop kicked by a mannequin a couple days ago, straight shot to the ribs. Didn't hurt at the time, but it sure does now!" - My former supervisor describing one of the many hazards of our job

Stella: So, watching "Big Sexy"...I seriously think the really tall one is a drag queen. Me: I KNOW, ME, TOO!!!! Stella: WTF is with her fucking make-up?!  Why is so WHITE?! Me, No idea Stella: I think she is actually John Candy from the movie "Armed & Dangerous. Me: HA Stella: It's nice to know that he didn't really die and is just living as a plus size model in NYC.

"You might enjoy this.  It's kind of weird." - The Hubby when sending me this link http://iwdrm.tumblr.com/

Stella: It smells like smoked meats. Birdman: It's intoxicating. Stella: Ha! Birdman: You know how I like my smoked meats.

"We have otter pops for dessert if anyone wants something to suck on." - One of our friends

"Someone slap that fucking tinman!  What a pussy!" - The Hubby talking about what would be considered corny but wasn't in its day