I Better Write That Down

"I would slap the taste right out of that kid's mouth." - Birdman regarding one of the kids on "The Real Housewives of New Jersey"

"Ke$ha looks like a crack whore hit in the face with a meth lab." - a text from Stella

"A little more bat to the face." - The Hubby responding to a bride from "Four Weddings" stating that she thought another bride could have had a little something more.

"How are the prices compared to the Cathedral Buffet?" - Birdman also in response to hearing about the International House of Prayer movement

"Would you like a side of  Hallelujah with your Rootie-Tootie-Fresh-And-Fruity?" - Stella regarding the International House of Prayer movement

"Do hipster chicks get Pabst-Smears?" - The Hubby

"We're supposed to get a Norwegian" - Teresa from "Real Housewives of New Jersey" regarding a weather forecast of a Nor'easter 

Stella's nephew #1: My friends are funnier cause they are ethnically diverse. Stella's nephew #2: Yeah..they are black, Jewish, and diabetic.

Brendon from "Big Brother": Sorry, I can be a bit of a baby sometimes. The Hubby, to the TV: Yeah!  When you're AWAKE!

"She's got one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel." - One of my father-in-law's friends about his lady friend