I Better Write That Down

"Don't patronize me and treat me like an asshole." - Overheard by Stella while at a car dealership

"The Indians being down 0-3 is like trying to climb up a mountain blind with no legs." - Mr. R. during Indians' game

"I'm not 100% sure, it could be the lack of sleep, but I'm pretty sure I just saw a naked man riding a bike down our street." - text from Stella

"I want to punch her so hard her tittays become a goiter on her back" - me being annoyed by Rachel on "Big Brother"

"If I had more balls in my mouth, I'd look like a gerbil." - Jordan on "Big Brother"

"My sweat is sweating sweat." - Holla describing how hot a day it was.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel demasculatized." - Rachel, "Big Brother 13"

"The only one I give a break to is the really old lady...She only has so many customers left to ring out." - Mr. R. commenting on the cashiers at a grocery/deep discount store.

"Theirs: $69.95  Ours: $69.94" - sign in a shoe store

Holla: Did you just fart? Pi: No, my sandal just flew off. Holla: That's what they all say.

"That guy's got party in the back and business casual in the front." - The Hubby on a mullet we saw

"I think there should just be towns." - Sally derailing her own train of thought

Mini-Me: What is that I smell? Scrubs: I don't know, what does it smell like? Mini-Me: Ummmm, dog perfume !!!!!!!!!!

"So I am at the West Side Market with [Holla] sitting outside & I am pretty sure the girl at the bus stop is from "The Real World" some time ago.  ANNOYING GIRL BUT FORGET NAME." - Pi texting me about someone who could be pretty much anyone from that show through the years

"She should get a flipper." - The Hubby commenting on a mom on "Toddlers & Tiaras" who was missing some teeth

"We could all watch the Justin Bieber movie.  That would be some good bondage." - Miley Bieber on team BONDING, not bondage

"If you only had one eye, you'd have trouble, too." - a lady at 4th of July fireworks

"Everybody is attractive in some way or another.  But, that's probably because I stare at people until I find something attractive." - Sally

"Someone kill that bitch already!"- Mr. R commenting on an episode of "Bridezillas"

"What animal is that?" - Mini-Me to her parents

"Irish Travelers are the Snooki of Europe." - The Hubby